The Second Biggest Scandal in Green Bay™

I suppose everyone, whether they like it or not, is aware of the scandal in Green Bay over the Brett Favre trade. Not to take anything away from Aaron Rodgers, Favre's replacement, but it was a bad move on the part of the Packers, in my opinion. At best, they handled the situation poorly. At worst, they were sleezy and disingenuous. The fact that the Packers hired former White House press secretary Ari Fleischer before negotiations began, in fact, before it was announced that Favre wanted to come back, to be their spokesperson for the duration, is a clear indication that they knew they were behaving badly and dishonestly and needed help spinning it. But that's the Biggest Scandal in Green Bay™ and not what I want to write about at this time.

The Second Biggest Scandal in Green Bay™ is . . . (drum roll, please) . . . PartyHouses™! Yes, you read that correctly, PartyHouses™. It seems that Rich Bastards have figured out that there is a residential neighborhood right across Lombardi Avenue from Lambeau Field, and they could buy those houses, renovate them and rent them out for Big Bucks on game days. The Rich Bastards, or the highest bidders, can have their own private "Tailgate Parties" without being forced to mingle with the riffraff, zip over to the stadium for the game (or stay at the PartyHouse™ and watch it on the new big-screen TVs that are being installed) and zip back for more bacchanalian excess. Now, that may not sound like too big a deal, but let's examine the situation a little more closely.

First, the neighborhood is zoned residential, not commercial. The houses in question are supposed to be occupied by the primary resident, whether it be an owner or a renter. Renting them by the day, weekend, week or month is in strict violation of the zoning, but Money always seems to get its way, particularly when any opposition is, well, Not Money.

Second, it's a pretty quiet neighborhood, and these PartyHouses™ are expected to be jam-packed with people who want to PARTY! The new owners are almost all from out-of-town or out-of-state, and you can be sure they don't give a rat's left butt-cheek about the residents of the neighborhood. They just see it as an opportunity to make a bundle of easy cash. Who's going to be responsible for the behavior of the Partyers? Who will pay for the damage the Drunken Cretins inflict on the neighborhood?

Third, all the houses in the neighborhood are one-story ranches. All of them. Up until now, that is. The houses that are being turned into PartyHouses™ are often having a second story added on to them. Is there any value to the view (of Lambeau Field) that people used to have before it was blocked by the PartyHouses™? Did anyone consult with the people who actually live in the neighborhood before adding the extra stories to these houses? Does anyone care that they are now completely out-of-scale with the rest of the neighborhood?

During our recent visit to my sister in Green Bay, we walked the three blocks (it was a difficult trek, but no amount of hardship is too great to bring this important information to you, dear reader) to get a look and a few photos.

This is a typical house on Shadow Lane. Note the glorious view.

Here's one of the PartyHouses™ as seen from Shadow Lane. You used to be able to see Lambeau Field from this vantage point. Note the out-of-state plates on the big honkin' SUVs parked in front and in the driveway (click on the photo if'n you want to enbiggen it).

Here's the same PartyHouse™ as seen from the other side (across Lombardi Avenue in the Lambeau Field parking lot). Note the size of the house immediately to the left.

Here's another. This one doesn't have the second story (yet), but look at that cute deck they put on top of the garage for your partying pleasure.

Yet another, as seen from Lombardi Avenue, with the second story again.

Here's one of those drunken fans I was telling you about, doing what drunken fans love to do most. Right on your lawn. Eeewwww!

As long as I'm at it, let's enjoy some more sights from
the Holy Land, Lambeau Field.

Inside.

The Fan Code of Conduct.
Nice, isn't it?

Vince Lombardi, facing the PartyHouses™.
"This is definitely not my father's NFL!"

Curly Lambeau, pointing at the PartyHouses™.
"Get those things out of my sight! Now! I mean it! That will be 20 laps!"

So, that's it. The Second Biggest Scandal in Green Bay™. Aren't you glad you read this blog?

Season's End

Well, football season is over, at least for me. The Mighty Pack fell to the New York Giants, ending what has been one of the more entertaining seasons I've witnessed. Oh, well. I guess it's time to intone the PFM (Packer Fan's Mantra: There's always next year!)

Coach Mike McCarthy is cold but not happy.

Remember, it was below zero with a wind chill in the minus twenties.
Some people don't have the sense they were born with.
(Actually, I don't know what that really means,
but I thought it sounded good.)

Men don't have a monopoly on not having the sense they were born with. Or weren't born with. Or.... hmmm, wait a minute, I'll get there eventually... maybe.

These women don't have less of the sense they weren't born without...
Ow! I think that last sentence busted something in my brain-pan.

Photo by Elizabeth Roherty

Anyway, that's it for this year. There's always next year. There's always next year. There's alwaysssszzzzzz....

Fun with Favre

Here's an example of what makes watching Brett Favre and the Packers (the only socialist team in major league sports) so much fun to watch. In this photo, Favre takes some time to have a snowball fight in the middle of the game, nailing teammate Donald Driver. Driver later got him back in the middle of Favre's post-game interview with a snowball to the helmet. Favre clearly enjoys playing football, which makes it more fun to watch.



“That was awesome. I’ve been hoping for that for 17 years. I wanted to play where you couldn’t see the field and the snowplow comes out. It just kept getting worse and worse.”

-Brett Favre after the Seattle game.

The Mighty Pack, again.

Apologies to Crayons for the following post, but it has to be done.

Yesterday I watched the Packers (who remain the only socialist team in major league sports) play the Seattle Seahawks with PoodleDoc and PoodleDoc, Jr. I love to watch football when played in snow or rain (surprise, surprise.) If you ask me, teams that play in domes are a bunch of wimps. When the game began, it was snowing lightly. By the end of the game it was snowing quite heavily, ideal conditions for a January football game.



The game started out badly for the Packers, who, due to two fumbles by Ryan Grant, were behind 14-0 just four minutes into the game. Over the years, I've seen the Packers lose many games they should have won, and it looked like this was going to be one of those games. Lo and behold, the Mighty Pack, including the aforementioned Ryan Grant (who left the game in the fourth quarter with 201 yards and three touchdowns - both of which are Packer post-season records), went on to play practically perfect football in every way for the rest of the game, winning 42-20, which will put them in the NFC Championship game against the winner of today's Dallas/New York game.



It was fun watching the game with PoodleDoc and PoodleDoc, Jr, despite the fact that it had to be viewed on PoodleDoc's rather testosterone-challenged television; I'd say it has about a five-inch screen. We engaged in the time-honored game of "Predict The Next Stupid Comment Made By The Announcers." (Well, Tony, I think if the Packers want to win this game, they're going to have to score more points than the Seahawks.)



While it helped that the end result was a decisive Packer victory, the snow on the field and the good company made for a very enjoyable football viewing experience. The only downside was that watching football, even when I go elsewhere, has the potential of creating conflict between Ms. Geranium and me, which I feel bad about. Sigh. Sorry, Ms. Geranium.

Another broken record

The Mighty Pack, still the only socialist team in major league sports, secured the 2nd seed in the playoffs with a 33-14 win over the
St. Louis Rams today. Thanks to Philadelphia, they have a shot at the top seed, although, in order for that to happen, Dallas needs to lose one game and the Packers need to win their last two. Probably the most notable event in this game was Brett Favre surpassing Dan Marino's record of 61,361 career passing yards. Favre now holds just about every record a quarterback can hold. Most consecutive starts by a quarterback (251), games won (160), career touchdown passes (440), pass attempts (8,715), pass completions (5,351), interceptions (438) and now passing yards (61,405). Pretty amazing.

Woe unto Wisconsin

A large portion of the state of Wisconsin is grieving today. Yes, we'll all miss Evel Knievel. And we have to face the fact of The Mighty Pack's loss to the despised Dallas Cowboys. While the Packers represent everything there is to like about football, the Cowboys are the exact opposite. Owned by an ultra rich jerk, all glitz, stupid mascots and artificial turf - it's hard to swallow. Not only did the Packers lose, but Brett Favre was forced to leave the game with an injury. He didn't play very well before he got hurt, either. Interestingly, backup quarterback Aaron Rodgers (I like to call him Mister Rodgers) came in and, after a shaky start, almost managed to save the game. Alas and alack, it was not to be. Oh well, it's only football, after all. There's always next week. Or next year.

An interesting note about this particular game was that it was broadcast by the NFL Network. As a result, it wasn't possible to watch it unless you got your opiate via satellite - no cable or regular networks had it. People across the state were outraged. Come on, folks! It's only television. If people spent as much energy on important issues as they do on whether or not they can watch a stupid football game.... but I digress. So, if you wanted to watch this game and didn't have satellite, you had to go somewhere to do so. Every bar in the state with a satellite dish was packed (sorry about the pun) to capacity. I had a rehearsal that kept me from getting an early seat in one of my neighborhood watering holes, but thanks to our rock-star status and all (hard to get that written down without choking), our keyboardist and I were able to get in midway through the first quarter even though they were turning people away. Feeling rather important, I went up to the bar to procure a refreshing fermented malt beverage and found myself standing next to (drum roll ..........) Chad Vader (the body, not the voice - if you haven't seen these videos, check them out). Confused, not knowing if I should feel humbled or special to be in such lofty company, I couldn't think of anything to say (like, maybe "I believe in you Chad. I also believe in elves" or "Do you have any live goats?") and opted for silence rather than risking stupidity. It made the ignominious defeat just a little bit easier to bear, knowing that the body of Chad shared my pain.

Happy Thanksgiving!

The Mighty Pack emerged victorious over the Detroit Lions. It looked grim for Packer fans early in the game, but they pulled through, giving them a four game lead over the aforementioned division rivals with five games left to play. Donald Driver, shown above, had a great game: ten catches for 147 yards, yet no touchdowns. Other teams are so scared of him that it makes it possible for other players to make big plays. The guy works harder than any other football player I've seen, yet gets little credit for his efforts. Pulling in passes when he knows a big hit is coming, getting extra yards through sheer stubborness. He'd make a great bass player.

Next, the Dallas Cowboys in Dallas - the victors of that game having the inside track to homefield advantage throughout the playoffs. A big game for both teams. The Pack has not had much succcess in Dallas in the past and I dislike the Cowboys more than any other team in the league. Hopefully, I'll have good news to post next week.

Packers 31, Panthers 17

With six games left, the Mighty Pack is now three games ahead of second place Detroit. A NFC North division title looks like a real possibility. Too soon to get one's hopes up, though. Next game - Packers at Detroit!

Packers 34, Vikings 0

For the first time in 94 games, the Packers shut out the Vikings. The Mighty Pack is now 8-1. Enjoy it while you can.

The Mighty Pack

The Packers won again today. That puts them at 7-1 for the season. Unfortunately, I forgot (yes, forgot!) to watch the game. Instead, I raked leaves, cleaned the gutters and did some other stuff around the house. There was a time when forgetting to watch the Packers would have meant some crisis had occurred, but I just don't have the energy for it that I once had. I find it difficult to take much of an interest in sports these days. For one thing, I hate television. I hate the way the game has become a multimedia spectacle. The players earn (earn?) ridiculous amounts of money while people who do important or valuable work (teachers, woodworkers and temp secretaries, for example) are either underpaid or losing their jobs. Meanwhile, the team owners are raking in the cash and the working class can no longer afford to attend a game without spending their children's inheritance, assuming they have one to spend. Nonetheless, I still follow the Packers. I like to say that they're the only socialist team in major league sports, although I might get hurt if I were to say that in Green Bay. The reason I like to say that is because the Packers are not owned by some wealthy cretin or small group of wealthy cretins. They are owned by the people of Green Bay. That could not happen in the NFL today; it's against the rules. But, as a result, the Packers will never leave Green Bay for greener pastures. And then there is Brett Favre. You can't help but like Brett Favre. His name is hard to pronounce, for one thing. He comes off as kind of a redneck, and maybe he is (he was once quoted as saying something to the effect that he didn't like Wisconsin winters because it was awfully cold when you needed to go out in the yard to take a leak,) but he is one of the most exciting players to watch, and he clearly is emotionally invested in the game. He does things that shouldn't be possible (like today's touchdown pass to Greg Jennings, Favre was falling backward and still threw the ball something like 50 yards and dropped it perfectly in to the hands of Jennings. A 38-year old quarterback shouldn't be able to do that. Yes, yes, I know, I didn't watch the game, but thanks to the magic of the internets I was able to see the highlights.) Super Bowl? Probably not. But who cares? There are leaves that need raking!