Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Bailouts

*Note*
For this entire post, when I write "compensation", "income", "payment" or anything similar, I mean salary, bonuses, severance pay, incentives, dividends, stock options, or any other convoluted manner those rich bastards can come up with which ultimately refers to how much money they are making.

The economy is in the crapper. The federal government is throwing huge sums of our cash at rich bastards, but what's in it for us? Where is my bailout? Where is your bailout? Where is all that money going? "We choose not to disclose that information." Someone help me, please.

It appears that our government is going to throw money at all sorts of rich bastards in order to save our "cratering" economy. Most of us have no say in the matter, but, given the fact that these bailouts seem to be a foregone conclusion, here is what I would like to see happen:

1) Any corporation on the receiving end of federal bailout funds shall not pay any CEO, or any other employee, more than $100,000 between now and 12/31/09. Should anyone on the payroll of the aforementioned bailed-out corporation receive income from any other source, their compensation from the bailed-out corporation shall be reduced by the amount received from those other sources.

2) No CEO or other employee shall be paid more than five times the amount earned by any other employee. (Let's just say the lowest paid employee earns $30,000 in 2009. No one, including the CEO [reduced for income/dividends/etc from any other source] could receive more than $150,000. "But wait!" cry the CEOs. "I could never live on $150,000/year!" Deal with it. Ask the employee who is earning $30,000/year how he/she manages. Maybe you'll learn something.)

3) All existing unions must be recognized, and employees shall form a union should a union not already exist.

4) Layoffs and/or decreases in the number of unionized employees shall result in reduced CEO compensation down to and/or below the wage paid the lowest paid employee, according to a formula as yet to be devised. (In other words, a CEO can end up earning less than the lowest paid employee if he or she totally screws things up. Waah, waah, waah.)

Okay, all you free-market trolls, have at it. I'm sure that my ideas reek of socialism and the end of the universe. As if we're not all being flushed down the toilet already.

4 comments:

DCup said...

I love this.

The minute they take tax payer money or loans, they give up their right to claim the power of the free market.

Suzy said...

We're living in an age of robber barons, that's for sure.

Excellent ideas, my dear.

poodledoc said...

Ed. I like how you are channeling your anger. Couldn't agree with you more. How's elton? Does he count as a robber baron?

gomonkeygo said...

My Smart Wife and I were discussing this morning about the new historical revisionism of the right - how FDR did nothing to help us during the Great Depression and that the only thing that saved us was WWII. They ignore that GDP rose while unemployment fell for every year but one or two, during which years FDR decided to listen to some conservatives and cut back on federal spending and aid - resulting in a Depression with the Great Depression - that was only helped when FDR reversed this course and started government spending again. And then came the War - which was nothing if it wasn't government spending money.

Lordy. I'm fired up. Reading my new present - Liars for Jesus! Highly recommend it.

Happy Holidays, Ed!